We are all “under the influence” at one time or another in life. I’m not referring to being under the influence of a substance like drugs or alcohol although I am sure some of us have been there also at one time or another. I’m more interested in the fact that we are under the influence of people that we come into contact with every day of our lives. What exactly is influence? The dictionary defines it as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. So when we are influenced by someone be it good or bad we are defining our character to a certain extent.
Think for a moment how many people you have come into contact so far in your life and how many more that will continue to make contact in the future. By contact it could be someone you have known your whole life, a best friend, a teacher, someone you work with or the checker at a department store. The people you come into contact with whether in passing or on a deeper level can and often do have an influence on our lives.
Now I am not saying the worker at the department store or the stranger on the street that smiled at you have the same influence as say your parents that you were in contact with on a daily basis, but they all can have the ability to impact or change an individual’s character.
How many times do you suppose your character, integrity or morals have been changed or influenced by people you’ve come into contact with? I know mine has been influenced throughout my life many times. Some of those influences are good and some are not. I think back to teachers, coaches, coworkers, friends, and family. I’ve had a mix of good and bad influences in my life as I am sure you have as well. It is ours to decide what influences we are going to let shape our character as we go through life.
I heard someone once say that we are the average of the five people we hang out with most. This is why in my opinion, we need to be aware of the people we are associating with. Do they have similar values, goals, and interests? Are they people that are going to lift us up in positive ways or are they negative people who have little direction or goals? Those are important things because our subconscious will feed off of whatever energy we surround ourselves with and influence us whether we know it or not.
I can recall people in my life who have made a positive influence on me that I knowingly carry with me today. My parents influenced me of course but beyond that I had coaches, teachers and coworkers who made very positive influences on me whether I knew it at the time or not. Some people have had very negative influences on me throughout my life that I have had to fight to correct or risk going somewhere I didn’t want to be.
My wife has been such a great influence on me in the few short years we have been together. Going into our relationship I told her I was a work in progress. She took on the daunting task of “me”, and has made me a better man, husband and father. She has taught me how to be more positive, how to see the good, and how to enjoy life in general. For that I cannot thank her enough.
My best friend of over 30 years has influenced me greatly. We will debate occasionally who the bad influence was when we were back in school. I say him and he of course says me. We did some wild and crazy things and they shaped us throughout the years no doubt. We will both admit we did some pretty stupid things but we will both also admit we had fun and learned many things about life. About five years ago my best friend became an ordained pastor. Now the influence has changed greatly. He is still my same old buddy from 30 plus years ago that we go out drink some beers and have some laughs. But now he is also an inspiration to me to lead a life with God first and foremost, and be the best person I can be for my daughter, my wife and myself. My best friend married my wife and I and most recently baptized my daughter. That man has influenced me for over 30 years full circle. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him and we continually push each other to strive to be the best we can be at whatever we do.
I recently met a gentleman at a trade show who was displaying next to me. He was kind of quiet with a dry sense of humor. We would have some small talk here and there and that was about it. The second day we spoke a little more, I met his wife who was a very nice woman as well. The third and final day something was telling me there was much more to this couple than they let on just by some small comments made the first two days. He had made a comment to a couple of young kids walking through the exhibit hall. As they walked past ignoring our businesses he said, “Don’t do drugs”. They looked back like he was crazy, he smiled looked at me and we laughed. This was his dry humor so I thought. As it turns out later I learned more about this gentleman. He is an ex-drug addict, he did prison time, he is a man of God, he is an author of many books, he writes music, he paints, he does stand up comedy, he is a very successful business owner and he gives back to prisoners in some of the toughest prisons in the states by providing them with books and he brings them to know God. I emailed Brian after the show and I hope we stay in touch. He and his wife sent my daughter and I a few of his books as well. This man had a very inspirational influence on me and the way it happened I didn’t realize it until after the fact. He is the true meaning of pay it forward.
My point is, you never know who or when someone will influence you. It may take years or minutes, but it is something that you will carry for the rest of your life. I am thankful for the people that have come into my life. Some have stayed and some were only with me for a brief time whether it was my choice, theirs or God’s. They have all influenced me in one way or another, good or bad. Without them I would not be who I am today. Pay attention to the people in your life. They have the ability to mold you, shape you and teach you in a positive or negative manner. It is your choice who you associate with and how you want to be influenced. Learn what you can from the people you associate with and apply it to your life in the most positive way. We are all under the influence every day..